How does the tow/haul mode help while towing? I also have the Superchip tuner with a tow/haul mode that requires 91 octane. What would be the best setup for towing 4500 lbs. from the west coast to the east coast?

The "Tow Tune" is an engine tune on the Superchips, basically it's the performance tune with the timing not advanced as much (too much advance and you get detonation while towing).
As it's does not effect shift points, it is recommended that you use the Tow/Haul switch for towing as you would irregardless of the Tow Tune on the PCM.
So in other words, use both together.

As far as any other setup goes, I hope you at least have the 3.92 gears in that thing and not the 3.55s. Towing absolutely sucks with the 3.55 gears...

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'04 QC Hemi 4x4
'02 Jeep Grand Cherokee Overland 4x4
'06 Can Am Outlander 4x4